Home Sex Dead Bedrooms?

Dead Bad? Things will get better!

I'd rather sleep.

Why bother?

So most of us have suffered from a ‘dead bedroom’ at one time or another if we have been in a long term relationship. Maybe your bored, don’t have time or would just rather not. Maybe even the thought of sex with your man, or anyone else for that matter, literally never crosses your mind. Let me guess, used to be hot and heavy in the beginning? And now, not so much.

Well I am just going to speak for myself here. I have been with my husband for near 20 years and we have 4 kids. So when there were no kids we could have sex wherever, at any time!! We would do it like twice a day. We could sleep in!! There was no time constraints besides work. No one was going to walk in or complain they are hungry or just want attention. Or like us with older kids as well, we just don’t really want them to know what we are doing. There is still some desire for privacy. As each child came, we got more and more creative. Now with 4, the older ones up later and one in our room? Timing is of the essence.

Now about getting in the mood. And I am talking to the ladies here. Our brains are our biggest sexual organ. We need to think about sex, desire it and build up some desire, so when the option for sleep or sex comes into play, we opt for sex. Not all the time mind you but to have some fun and reconnect with our man. Reading!! Yes I mean sexy erotica books. And before you go, no way!! Just hear me out.

I did start with 50 Shades. Like many women today reading about Christian Grey is what is getting the ladies fired up. It got me fired up. I devoured all three. The awesomeness of digital readers as well is we can read these books on the down low and anywhere so we aren’t busted for being pervs by anyone around us! These books do contain BDSM so are not necessarily for everyone. However if you know nothing about it like most people (or think you do but really don’t), then give it a try. You might have your man tying you up before your done the book!!

Then if you like passion but aren’t really into the BDSM side of things, try the Gideon Cross Series. Another rich, hot, hung dude that knows how to make a lady loose her mind in the bedroom. Very hot books. Very passionate and filled with sex. You’ll be reading at night and begging your man to turn out the lights and tuck you in.

If you want more BDSM with some romance thrown in, try the Shadowlands series. There is about 7 books to the former series 3, and each one features a different man and a woman with varying ‘tastes’ and\or kinks. So some books may appeal more than others. Very fun. Fantastic fantasy books to help you see where your desires may lie and allow you to explore and be more free with your own sexuality.  Discovering things you have fantasized about are ‘ok’ is very freeing. Nothing wrong with being nasty!!

There are more series out there and they do get addictive. My husband now gets kind of bummed if I read a ‘normal’ book. He likes me reading then getting ideas, and jumping his bones. I think he is definitely more happy as well on the frequency of things. So basically the idea is to get your head in it. Have fun. Take some ideas and make them your own. Whats your man gonna say?? no? Ya right.

So when I stared with Why Bother? You will discover your answer yourself. It could be better than you ever imagined if you open yourself up to new possibilities. Things you may never know you would like! As my husband loves to remind me, things I would have said ‘never’ to a year ago, we are doing frequently now and I love it!! You can’t change anyone else but you can change yourself.  You might like what you find.